mY SISTERS PHONE WALLPAPERS ARE BOTH PICTURES OF ME TAKEN OFF GUARD
i was having a conversation with my dad about all his nationalities and as a joke i said to him “dad i am pretty sure you’re a mexican, your middle name is juan” and he replied “yes my middle name is juan and my last name is two” fuck you dad.
one time on Christmas i had to stand in front of the class and sing a song that i made up, but because i was to busy doing whatever the fuck i did when i was younger, i forgot to write the song, so i kinda just made one up and called it “christmas song” which consisted of me making random words rhyme, i got the best mark because “i was so organized i didn’t need my lyrics on a page with me” haha fuck you other kids. nailed it.
Buttermilk the baby goat is kind of a dick.
This is from an Australian condom ad that was banned and it’s kind of great.
the friendzone is no place for a dog like me
of the world
TIS THE SEASON